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Loss after Infertility (Pt. 2) –  How to deal with the aftermath.

Loss after Infertility (Pt. 2) – How to deal with the aftermath.

When you have a baby after a miscarriage, it’s called a “Rainbow Baby.” My son Alef was a Rainbow Baby but, did you know that when one twin passes away that the baby is called a Sunset Baby? Alef was a Rainbow and then a Sunset. I never heard of this until recently, but it describes that loss perfectly. The sun sets on all the hopes, wishes, and dreams you had for them. When what was supposed to be my Rainbow turned into a Sunset, I was numb. The other twin who lives is called a Sunrise Baby, and I have one of those too. Part 3 will be all about her; I hope you will read the final chapter to learn more. 

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Loss after Infertility (Pt. 1): Listen to your gut when you’re pregnant…

Loss after Infertility (Pt. 1): Listen to your gut when you’re pregnant…

There aren’t many regrets I have in life, but the one I do have is major. I regret not listening to my gut about going away while I was 20 weeks pregnant with my twins. Twins that took over 4 years to conceive after 15 ART treatments and 5 miscarriages. As you can imagine, there was a lot physically, mentally, and financially we had invested in those babies. This regret comes wrapped up with lots of could have/should have, longing and guilt. I have had time and therapy to work out these feelings, but to some degree, they will always be there.

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Why my infertility journey was meant to happen as it did and so is yours

Why my infertility journey was meant to happen as it did and so is yours

I can’t justify the losses, especially the loss of my second son, but I know what I had to endure brought me the family that I have now. Almost going bankrupt because we spent so much on fertility treatments sucked! I can’t explain how unfair it is that we have to pay money to have children when so many of our friends and family members don’t. But, it was how it was meant to happen.

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