Mothers Day Sucks When You Are Infertile

— Caryn Rich

I literally didn’t realize that it was mother’s day until somebody mentioned it yesterday. I think mother’s day is going to feel a little bit different this year, whether you’re a mother or not. I am a mother for those of you who don’t know that, but I remember when I wasn’t and how hard this day was. Now more than ever, it is so important to be doing what you need to do for your own mental health during this time. Basically, we’re living through a quarantine, your cycles have been canceled, you’ve been having trouble getting pregnant and now you have to deal with mother’s day on Sunday!

So the first thing I want to say is be kind to yourself and give yourself grace that is a lot of s — -t to happen at once. You’re allowed to be angry, you’re allowed to be depressed, you’re allowed to be sad. Under one condition, you don’t stay in that place and can find a way to snap out of it.

I’m sure many of you have mother-in-laws and mothers and will be celebrating them on Sunday. There is pain in your own journey for not being part of that club — and I get that. What I want you to remember is something that I wholeheartedly believe, that we don’t need a date to celebrate anybody. We should be celebrating the people that we love every single day. What I want you to remember on Sunday is that this holiday was made up by Hallmark as another revenue stream. They don’t care about celebrating or honoring mothers and what they do every day. They care about how much money this “holiday” can bring them. What’s even sadder is how everybody’s jumped on board and made it into this big old thing.

There are some companies that give women choices. I recently posted an email on IG that I got from a flower company. They said that they recognize that mother’s day can be triggering and if you do not want to be sent any of their mother’s day promos, please click here. More and more people are understanding how fake these holidays are and that there are women who want to be mothers who aren’t. That there are women who were mothers, who are no longer and women who lost their own mothers. There are so many other variations of those scenarios that can bring angst on this day as well. So while everything is so upside down, now you have to add something else into the fray.

Here is the thing though, you may not be celebrating it this year, but you will!! I need to get on my soap box now.

I don’t want to see any more of those praying hand or fingers crossed emojis. If you want to be a mother, it’s not about a matter of luck, it’s a matter of making it happen. I firmly believe deep down that if you want to be a mother, you will be a mother, but you have to make it happen. Sometimes we’re so stuck inside of ourselves while in the journey that you can’t see 10,000 feet above. You can’t see what I can see and I can say it because I was there. Stop praying that it happens. I’m not saying that there isn’t a higher power at work here, and I do believe that whatever you believe in, the universe, God, plays a part. The babies that I was given were meant to be my babies at the time and way they came to be mine.

So stop praying for it to happen and make it happen guys. Okay? You may not be a mother YET or you may not have completed your family YET. I get it and it sucks, but don’t make yourself the victim, do something about it. Put all the effort you can into figuring it out.

If you haven’t tracked your cycle and you don’t know if you period is normal start there!!!!

What can you learn or uncover from what has happened thus far?

If there’s any other questions about how you can get through Sunday, what words you can use when somebody says something that’s triggering, drop them below. I really hope that you take what I said to heart because I was there. I’ve been in your shoes and I know what I’m talking about.

Thinking about you guys on Sunday and always.

I would love to keep in touch with you.

I have a weekly email with killer topics that I just know you will love.