When you have a baby after a miscarriage, it’s called a “Rainbow Baby.” My son Alef was a Rainbow Baby but, did you know that when one twin passes away that the baby is called a Sunset Baby? Alef was a Rainbow and then a Sunset. I never heard of this until recently, but it describes that loss perfectly. The sun sets on all the hopes, wishes, and dreams you had for them. When what was supposed to be my Rainbow turned into a Sunset, I was numb. The other twin who lives is called a Sunrise Baby, and I have one of those too. Part 3 will be all about her; I hope you will read the final chapter to learn more.
There aren’t many regrets I have in life, but the one I do have is major. I regret not listening to my gut about going away while I was 20 weeks pregnant with my twins. Twins that took over 4 years to conceive after 15 ART treatments and 5 miscarriages. As you can imagine, there was a lot physically, mentally, and financially we had invested in those babies. This regret comes wrapped up with lots of could have/should have, longing and guilt. I have had time and therapy to work out these feelings, but to some degree, they will always be there.