I’m sure you have heard the quote, “Grow through what you go through,” right? I’m not sure I truly understood what it meant until the hardest thing in my life until that point happened…
I thought I had been through hard stuff before, and I had, but it paled in comparison to what I was about to face.
If you are still reading this, then my title caught you, and unfortunately, you know what I’m talking about. It was hard to see it at the moment, and you may not be able to see this now if you are knee-deep in the waters of infertility treatments either. But what I went through, what you’re going through right now, is precisely what is supposed to happen.
You may not want to hear this, especially if you have been here for a while already, but your path is necessary, and divine timing is everything.
I can’t justify the losses, especially the loss of my second son, but I know what I had to endure brought me the family that I have now. Almost going bankrupt because we spent so much on fertility treatments sucked! I can’t explain how unfair it is that we have to pay money to have children when so many of our friends and family members don’t. But, it was how it was meant to happen.
-The hundreds of embryos that I lost along the way weren’t meant to be my babies.
-My son Alef was given to us for a short time, yet the impact he had on our family life-long. He was sent to us to save his twin sister and always be a part of our family.
-My 5 years spent trying to have a viable second pregnancy were given to me to help others and have empathy and understanding of what it’s like to be in your shoes.
It’s raw right now. You’re angry and feeling helpless. I get it! It may be years until you can understand the WHY to your HOW, but just know that there is one.
These realizations did not happen overnight; they took time, just as they will for you too.
Give yourself grace, put yourself first. You are growing every day through the many battles you are fighting. The scars being created will one day become healed wounds.
Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
Love you!
xoxo,
Caryn
